Since I am a writer, everything I had ever published or posted was combed through, taken out of context, and literally used against me in court during my divorce. An innocuous Facebook post asking for local babysitter referrals was presented in our custody battle as evidence that I would “ask strangers for information about other strangers who I would leave my children with. Therefore, making me an irresponsible and unfit parent.”
Yep, that actually happened. It was ugly.
In general, the details of our breakup weren’t shared online. He’s not even on FB. Consider, though, the implications of a status update of “still trapped in a loveless marriage” or “he cheated again.” Note: for what it’s worth, neither of those things were the reason we split up, I’ve kept that offline on purpose and it will stay that way forever.
I totally understand the urge to vent. To post the ugly truth for all to see, especially when you are the one who has been wronged. Venting is awesome and can be incredibly therapeutic–especially when online friends are available around the clock to validate and commiserate with you.
But these conversations should be had in person, off the record, in a dark alley somewhere. Far away from Facebook and well out of earshot of the kiddos.
Think before you post. Ask yourself, “what is this going to look like to a judge, or even worse, my children who may discover these posts someday?”
It’s a slippery slope. It’s tempting to overcompensate and put your own “highlight reel” on Facebook for the world to see. My advice? Don’t post anything until the dust settles, when you can think clearly about what you want to share and with whom. It’s important to strike a balance that both parties are okay with.
A good follow-up read is this NYT article “Facebook’s Last Taboo: the unhappy marriage.”